Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Signs I’m Not a Corporation

Alright, technically I am a corporation. A Subchapter S-Corp which means various accounting and shareholder related things. What it doesn’t mean is that I have a big, fat corporate expense account. Or any sort of expense account. It also means I don’t have an IT department (unless you count my husband.)

So I am technically a corporation, but not in the “Corporate” sense of the word.

Case in point – my computer, pictured below.

A few important things to note:
  1. It’s a Toshiba. Not a cute little Mac. This is because everything we have at home is PC-based. And my non-IT-Department husband threatened to bill me for any time spent dealing with Mac-PC compatibility issues. So I have decided that, yes, I am a PC.
  2. I’m missing four keys. (Can you spot them? The answer's at the bottom of the page.) This is because during the last two and a half years, wine store dust and crumbs (because yes, I eat over my computer) have colonized under the keys. So I have become an expert at popping them off and cleaning out the gunk. However, I’m not such an expert at popping them back on. But never fear, they still work. A little squishy, but they work.
  3. The left mouse button is more than a little worn. In shiny Mac land, this would be annoying. In grey-PC-missing-four-keys land, this is barely worth mentioning.
  4. You can’t see it, but the power cord is plugged in. It’s always plugged in. Because without electricity, my computer has about two minutes of battery life. This means I always have to be within two feet of a live outlet or I can’t get any work done. You think it’s difficult to find free wi-fi? Just try to find free wi-fi and a live outlet. (I know where this magical combination exists, but I’m not telling.) 
So. Why don't I just buy a new computer to replace this craptop? Simple. Because I would have to pay for it. Myself.

And like I said. I’m not a Corporation.

Answer: Missing keys are X, F7, up arrow, left arrow

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